He ain't ugly, he's my dog!

For my birthday I told my husband all I wanted was for him to get out of work early and take me out to dinner - sans kids. Instead I got this:

the worlds ugliest mutt - reject from the pound. The picture is deceptively cute. He's scrawny and his hair is all wiry (where he has it - he has a bald streak running the length of his back. We were told it was from a chemical burn he got as a baby). In typical terrier fashion his hair is various colors with some long spots - he desperately needs a trip to the groomers.

Here's the story:
We have been on the dog waiting list at the local humane society for months. Our situation makes it very difficult to find a good match; we have a toddler and a cat - most pound dogs have issues with one or the other - unless your looking for a puppy - and we didn't want to have to train from scratch. My DH has stopped in at least twice a week all spring and summer to see what they have, he checks the website daily.

We got the call the other day and I was nearly tearful thinking of my darling little girl bonding with a sweet little terrier dog. Little did I know that this was NOT the dog of my dreams. Much as is the case with husbands - the reality just didn't measure up with the ideal.

I stopped by while running errands - he was out visiting a nursing home. They suggested we stop back later. So I returned two hours later - DH was in the parking lot waiting. He seemed non-commital - I got worried. We walked over and looked at him. Sad sad dog - but I'm a good mom, committed to my kids happiness. This wasn't about looks. Would he get along with the toddler? We took her to him. He jumped on her (he's twice her height when he's up on his back feet) - scraped her a bit. She screamed. It looked like I might be spared the embarassment of calling this homely creature "my dog". Another try - he tentatively stepped up to her, sniffed her and started licking her - that was it. The boys walked in and took him for a walk - a match made in heaven.

He may be homely - but looks can be decieving. He's *everything* we were looking for in a dog. He's gentle with the baby, patient with 4 boys (7,10, 11, 12) but also playful and energetic. He lays quietly when they're gone. He doesn't tear up the house. He's mostly trained. He understands commands but doesn't usually feel compelled to follow them. He asks to go out during the day but at night even after an 11PM walk he poops in the house - always on the linoleum in the kitchen though (I guess that counts as trained - if you can't hold it - you can't hold it)

I have noted a few problems though - He tested very well with cats, they actually 'borrowed him' to test a few newcomers while we were filling out paperwork. My cat despises him - Fluff hisses and Oscar charges, not a match made in heaven.

His previous owner must have spoiled him - he's on a hunger strike. Apparantly Alpo is below him. I have been able to coax him to eat a little - but as soon as I walk away from his dish he does too.

He somewhere got the impression that he was going to sleep in my bedroom, AND in my bed. He may have gotten the point on that last night. After half and hour and a bit of barking I came out, slapped his snout and told him to shut up. Not another whine was heard.

I think he's trying to butter me up - he keeps hanging around me and is currently wrapped around the bottom of my desk chair sleeping (so I can't move). Last night I was sorting books on the livingroom floor and he sidled up to me , put his head on my leg, then his paw and just laid there. Well OK then - maybe he's a keeper.

I think he resents my intial attitude toward him. He keeps pooping in my shoes.

Independence Day - it's not about you!

We've survived the holiday - living around here you see some interesting interpretations of "Independence". I'm more intereted in the historical value of the holiday - that is to say - I celebrate the memory of those who sacrificed and worked to give us this great country. Others view it as a celebration of their personal freedom - I don't disagree with that either (at least not completely). I think, perhaps, the later group should consider the deeper meaning of Independence Day. At it's purest form - the holiday commemorates the signing of the Declaration of Independence which signified our separation from England and the formation of a new nation. It also was the halmark of the Revolutionary War (or the War for Independence), one of only two US wars fought upon our own soil, and where women and children became casualties.

Far too many Americans use July 4th as a reason to "celebrate their freedoms", speaking out against the things they disagree with and celebrating the freedom to do other things. I don't see that as the point of the holiday - of course they are free to do and say as they wish, all 365 days of the year. I prefer to set aside this day as a remembrance of the sacrifices of others - so I will never take my freedom for granted. Too many Americans wear their freedoms like a crown. Sure they are a birthright, God given and irrevocable - but a price was paid for them, a high price.

"The Patriot" is one of my favorite movies. Although mostly fictional, I think it gives a clear picture of the struggle and sacrifice that we should be celebrating. Take your eyes and minds off yourself for once and show some respect for those who gave you your freedoms.

“America is great because America is good. But if America ceases to
be good, it will cease to be great.”
Alexis de Tocqueville

(I know that some people say this quote is "bogus" because it is not supported by physical evidence - that does not mean that de Tocqueville didn't say it - it just means that we don't have a piece of paper to prove it. Many stories and quotes do not have supporting physical proof of their origins - particularly those that are more than 150-200 years old)

Why I "don't work" - confessions of a housewife

Let me start by saying that it hasn't always been this way - and this post will only cover the historical basis for my decision, not my personal beliefs about work. For the first several years of our marriage we both worked. I worked retail, and later, office work; my dh has always done hard work (mechanic, carpenter, etc). One miserable July day I drove by the shop where he was working while I was running office errands. It was 90+ outside, and he was on the ground, wrestling with a lugnut on a vehicle - he looked hot, dirty and tired. I felt SOO guilty in my A/C and clean office clothes. I told him - if he was really unhappy - to quit. He could go back to school and I would work. I made enough to support our family.
He quit, took two semesters of classes - and was lost. This man was made to work, and to work hard. He was lost around the house. As much as he loved being home with our boys (who were 5,6,7ish in those days) - he was a fish out of water. He took on a part time job within the first year. After two years he went back to work full time, Army National Guard - within 12 months he had his orders for Iraq.

By then we had a new baby and I was working still (but only off and on). I had "quit" my job - but my boss hadn't figured that out yet. I stopped in the office (on the way home from the hospital with my new bundle of joy) and ended up refereeing an argument between my replacement and a staff person. A sign of things to come - within a month I was sucked back in with pleas of "We *really* need you!!" It started as a couple of hours here and there to help my replacement but wound up being semi-permanent.

The hours got longer - the baby got bigger - I started getting tired. Then his orders came. I was suddenly a single parent juggling a baby, a job, a home... the house of cards started tumbling down. I was so exhausted by the end of the day that I started dozing off during the 20+ minute commute home. It scared me straight! I suddenly realized that I was putting myself, my baby, and everyone on the road at risk - just to perpetuate the myth that women can do anything, and they can do it all at once (which I never believed to begin with). I was done.
POINT - I really resent feminism. I'm glad to see true femininity making a comeback. I've often felt like I was born in the wrong era. I've always known I wanted to be a housewife/mother - but society no longer sees that as normal or acceptable. We are expected to be 'more'. More than WHAT?! I suppose I'll save that for another post.

Day two - Does anyone really care?

Day two - reality settles in: Do I really have enough to say to keep writing every day? Once again I wonder if *anyone* is really interested. I supposed in these days of reality TV I shouldn't wonder. We have become a nation of voyeurs. We all want to know what everyone else is doing, how other people think. Our own lives have become so boring that we wonder "does anyone else feel this way?" So we jump on the web and... sure enough SOMEONE does. We don't sit and chat anymore - we blog; a one way conversation where everyone is listening and no one is interupting. It's safe, sure - you get flamed now and then - but for some reason it just doesn't sting so much when it's words on a screen. for me, the main thing that drew me in was this; I really don't know if anyone is interested - but by blogging, I'm not cluttering up my e-lists with stuff no one wants to read. I'm really very insecure, I suppose. This way I can write and write and not bother anyone - you have to come find me if you want to know what I have to say.