Who will teach the children?
I've been away... last summer took alot out of me. My niece and nephews are great blessings but there is an added burden as well. The winter was long and hard, now I'm in a waiting pattern - these last few days of in between weather. Where it's still too cool to be outside but I just want to do SOMETHING! I thought I might try to restart this blog and when I came in I found this post in my draft box - INSTANT GRATIFICATION!!! I can post immediately. Hopefully I can get up a fresh post today as well
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I'm frustrated with the world view that says I can't be a keeper at home and be a success. I had an interesting discussion with my eldest niece last weekend (she's 16). We were talking about something having to do with the home (laundry, cooking, etc). I jokingly said "didn't you learn that in Home Ec?" My SIL looked at me like I was crazy. She said "They don't have home ec anymore, they have "life skills". As it turns out 'life skills' teaches very little about how to do basic things like cooking a simple meal or sewing well enough to be able to reapply a button without it falling off again. It focuses mostly on goal setting and career decision making.
In a similar experience, my youngest niece (12) was helping me make dinner one night last week (they are stying with us over the summer). She said (about cooking something on the stove) "This is fun. My mom would NEVER let me do anything like this. Sometimes she *might* let me cut up veggies - but not usually because she's afraid I'll cut myself."
Keep in mind that she was simply mixing up a box of hamburger helper - a skill which my son mastered at the age of 10.
I have over the years realized that it is my place as a parent to teach my children the 'basics'. I was not always this way. Somewhere along the way I got the mistaken impression that I could trust the public school to teach my children what they need to know. But *I* learned from my mother at a young age how to do many of the things that are most important to life. She taught me to make brownies and cookies, and even bread sometimes. I remember watching her make dinner. Her instruction was generally silent - just watching her open cabinets and drawers and measure out ingredients taught me volumes. Spaghetti sauce did not come from a jar - it was fresh veggies mixed with tomato sauce and spices. Cookies didn't come from a bag - they were a wonderful concotion of sweetness, butter, sugars, maybe some nuts or other treat. Burgers were not a frozen block that bounced out of the pan when you put them in - they were hand patted (sometimes I think with a tad of displaced frustration beat into them!). Preparing food was an expression of love, yes it took time, but it was full of sacrificial love and that flavor cannot be duplicated.
My brother may be the only man I know (possibly the only PERSON I know) who can darn socks. Our grandmother taught him when he was about 9. Today socks are so cheap that we just throw them away when they develop holes.
I'm not talking Martha Stewart here. I'm talking basics - cutting up a salad (oh NO! Can't allow my child to do that - he might cut himself with the knife), boiling pasta (Oh no - she might get burnt!), fry an egg (oh no! that could start a fire!!). If you don't teach your children, how will they learn? Don't assume the public schools are making sure they know these things.
Tonight try something different... make them turn off the tv, computer, video game; set aside homework for an hour - and make dinner together. It will be the best lesson of the day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm frustrated with the world view that says I can't be a keeper at home and be a success. I had an interesting discussion with my eldest niece last weekend (she's 16). We were talking about something having to do with the home (laundry, cooking, etc). I jokingly said "didn't you learn that in Home Ec?" My SIL looked at me like I was crazy. She said "They don't have home ec anymore, they have "life skills". As it turns out 'life skills' teaches very little about how to do basic things like cooking a simple meal or sewing well enough to be able to reapply a button without it falling off again. It focuses mostly on goal setting and career decision making.
In a similar experience, my youngest niece (12) was helping me make dinner one night last week (they are stying with us over the summer). She said (about cooking something on the stove) "This is fun. My mom would NEVER let me do anything like this. Sometimes she *might* let me cut up veggies - but not usually because she's afraid I'll cut myself."
Keep in mind that she was simply mixing up a box of hamburger helper - a skill which my son mastered at the age of 10.
I have over the years realized that it is my place as a parent to teach my children the 'basics'. I was not always this way. Somewhere along the way I got the mistaken impression that I could trust the public school to teach my children what they need to know. But *I* learned from my mother at a young age how to do many of the things that are most important to life. She taught me to make brownies and cookies, and even bread sometimes. I remember watching her make dinner. Her instruction was generally silent - just watching her open cabinets and drawers and measure out ingredients taught me volumes. Spaghetti sauce did not come from a jar - it was fresh veggies mixed with tomato sauce and spices. Cookies didn't come from a bag - they were a wonderful concotion of sweetness, butter, sugars, maybe some nuts or other treat. Burgers were not a frozen block that bounced out of the pan when you put them in - they were hand patted (sometimes I think with a tad of displaced frustration beat into them!). Preparing food was an expression of love, yes it took time, but it was full of sacrificial love and that flavor cannot be duplicated.
My brother may be the only man I know (possibly the only PERSON I know) who can darn socks. Our grandmother taught him when he was about 9. Today socks are so cheap that we just throw them away when they develop holes.
I'm not talking Martha Stewart here. I'm talking basics - cutting up a salad (oh NO! Can't allow my child to do that - he might cut himself with the knife), boiling pasta (Oh no - she might get burnt!), fry an egg (oh no! that could start a fire!!). If you don't teach your children, how will they learn? Don't assume the public schools are making sure they know these things.
Tonight try something different... make them turn off the tv, computer, video game; set aside homework for an hour - and make dinner together. It will be the best lesson of the day.
posted by Amber | 7/13/2005 08:18:00 AM
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